Got promoted above a colleague and now they're giving you the cold shoulder? You're not alone in this awkward situation. Kimberlee Wells, CEO of TBWA and one of Australia's most powerful women in media, teams up with registered psychologist Amanda Mechanic, who has over a decade of experience in workplace wellbeing, to tackle this tricky workplace dynamic. They share honest insights about why friendships change after promotions, how to handle the guilt and awkwardness, and practical steps for rebuilding professional relationships. Their advice covers everything from having difficult conversations to understanding the psychology behind workplace hierarchy changes.
Getting promoted is brilliant, but what happens when your mate suddenly goes quiet and starts dismissing everything you say in meetings? It's one of those workplace situations that can make your stomach churn, especially when you thought you were friends. The good news is that this awkwardness doesn't have to be permanent.
This question was answered by Andy Wright – Founder of Never Not Creative – who hosts this series as part of his mission to support creatives through workplace challenges, Kimberlee Wells – CEO of TBWA – who has extensive experience leading teams and navigating complex workplace dynamics, and Amanda Mechanic – Manager for Caraniche at Work – a registered psychologist with over a decade of experience helping businesses improve employee wellbeing and manage organisational change.
The first thing Kimberlee emphasises is crucial: "Do not feel guilty about your promotion because I think that's where this could very quickly go." You were promoted for good reasons, based on your effort and the work you've been doing. Taking on guilt about your success won't help anyone, least of all your relationship with your colleague.
It's natural to feel uncomfortable when relationships shift, but remember that your promotion reflects your capabilities and contributions. You've earned this position.
Both Kimberlee and Amanda stress the importance of addressing the elephant in the room directly. Kimberlee suggests saying something like: "Hey, I've been observing that our relationship seems to have changed a bit since this promotion happened. Can we have a chat about that? Or how has this promotion for me made you feel?"
Amanda adds that "there's a psychological process that happens within a team when a team changes, particularly if a team member is promoted to be that team's leader." Acknowledging this process and talking about it openly can help everyone adjust.
Kimberlee points out an interesting possibility: "You may just be being tested by your friend." Sometimes colleagues need to see how you'll handle your new role and whether you'll still be the same person they knew. This testing period is often temporary, but it requires patience and consistency from you.
The key is to remain professional while showing that you're still approachable and fair in your new position.
This isn't all on your shoulders. Kimberlee explains that if your friend applied for the same role, "your leadership team should be having conversations with them as well about what their career plan looks like and where they're going to go."
There should be both emotional conversations (which you can initiate) and rational conversations that leadership needs to have with your peers about why you're in this role and where everyone else fits in the bigger picture.
Amanda offers reassuring perspective: "I suspect it's not personal. I suspect it's that they individually are feeling a bit lost within the bigger picture of things." Your colleague might be struggling with their own career direction rather than having issues with you specifically.
Kimberlee shares a personal example where a colleague thought she was angry with him for months, when actually she was just busy with different responsibilities in her new role. Sometimes we overlook how our changed circumstances affect others.
Amanda acknowledges that "those peer relationships do change" when someone gets promoted. This is normal and expected. The goal isn't to keep everything exactly the same, but to establish new, healthy boundaries and ways of relating to each other.
You might not spend as much casual time together, and that's okay. What matters is maintaining mutual respect and professionalism.
Kimberlee offers practical advice: "Pen and paper just become your best friend. Get all the emotion out on the page first because it'll come, and you need to. And then go back, look at it with fresh eyes and just pull out the rational arguments."
This approach helps you separate your feelings from the facts, making it easier to have productive conversations with both your colleague and your leadership team.
Remember, workplace relationships evolving after promotions is completely normal. Your colleague might need time to adjust to the new dynamic, and that's okay. Focus on being consistent, professional, and open to conversation. Most importantly, don't let their reaction diminish your pride in your achievement. You've earned this promotion, and with patience and good communication, you can navigate this tricky period whilst maintaining your professional relationships.
CEO of TBWA and one of Australia’s most influential media leaders, known for sharp focus on data, consumer insight & creativity. Serves as one of 30 global advisors to Google Assembly.
Manager at Caraniche at Work with 10+ years helping organisations support wellbeing & navigate change. Registered psychologist & mediator, shaping the EAP sector through work with EAPAA.
Founder of Never Not Creative, CEO of Streamtime & co-chair of Mentally Healthy, driven to make the creative industry fairer & more human. Believes great work should never cost wellbeing.
