Feeling like you don't fit in at work can be isolating, especially when you genuinely love what you do. It's that awkward tension between enjoying your role but struggling to connect with the people around you. You're not alone in this experience, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

This question was answered by Martine Beaumont, founder and CEO of Select Wellness and Select Counsellors with over 30 years of experience as a psychotherapist and executive coach supporting workplace wellbeing, and Nicky Bryson, Principal and Co-founder of Sayers Brand Momentum, a highly experienced brand and consumer strategist who has guided major Australian brands and founded The Trenches mentoring programme. Andy Wright, founder of Never Not Creative and CEO of Streamtime, hosted the discussion.

Finding common ground instead of focusing on differences

The key to building workplace friendships lies in shifting your perspective from what separates you to what connects you. As Martine explains: "We all have we're all human... there's always a point of connection there's always a point of connection we all you know have mothers fathers children lovers friends you know there's you know similar backgrounds non-similar backgrounds there's always a point where you can connect."

This means approaching colleagues with genuine curiosity rather than anxiety about fitting in. Martine notes: "People are amazing when you get into people's stories like I literally have never met a dull person you know when when you dig deep um everyone has a story." Instead of worrying about whether you belong, focus on discovering the interesting stories and experiences your colleagues have to share.

Master the art of listening and sharing

Building friendships requires two fundamental communication skills. First, become a genuinely good listener. Martine emphasises that "you're only a really good listener if someone's heard you and the way that you can ensure someone's hurt is to check out that your understanding of what they've said is right."

This doesn't mean parroting back everything someone says, but rather showing you understand the essence of what they're sharing. If a colleague mentions they're having a tough time, acknowledge that you hear they're struggling rather than immediately jumping to solutions or changing the subject.

The second skill involves appropriate sharing. Many people hold back from opening up because they worry about burdening others, but Martine points out: "It's a gift to people you know when you share what's really going on for you and it does draw people closer." Being willing to share your thoughts and emotions authentically helps create deeper connections.

Find your workplace friendship strategy

Nicky offers practical advice about navigating workplace social dynamics: "Workplaces are often like school and I think the way that I approach that is um you find one like-minded or friendly soul that will bring you into the group."

Rather than trying to connect with everyone at once, focus on building one or two genuine connections first. As Nicky explains: "People can feel when um new people or people are trying really hard to become friends and there's often a reaction to kind of um unconsciously reject that." The key is to be present at social events without forcing interactions, and let relationships develop naturally.

Define what you actually want from work friendships

It's worth examining what you're really seeking from workplace relationships. Nicky suggests asking yourself: "What friendship bucket are you feeling at work um and do you need to be friends with everyone... do you have you know i'm assuming you've got friends outside of work to i guess define what you're looking for from work friendships."

You don't need to be best friends with every colleague. Having rich friendships outside of work can take pressure off workplace relationships and help you appreciate different types of connections for what they are.

Connect with others through NNC Circles

If you're finding it challenging to build meaningful connections at work, Never Not Creative's Circles programme might help. Circles are peer support groups that connect creatives with others facing similar challenges. These monthly sessions provide a safe, non-judgmental space to share experiences and learn from others who understand the unique pressures of creative work. The programme helps build genuine connections whilst developing practical skills for navigating workplace relationships. You can learn more about NNC Circles here.

When to seek additional support

If feelings of isolation at work are significantly impacting your wellbeing or mental health, it might be helpful to speak with a professional counsellor or therapist. They can provide personalised strategies for building confidence in social situations and managing workplace anxiety. Remember, seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You can find resources for professional help through our Where to get help section.

Know your rights and options

If your struggles with fitting in stem from workplace bullying, harassment, or discrimination, you don't have to handle it alone. Never Not Creative's Support Line provides free introductory legal advice for creative industry professionals facing these issues. Sometimes what feels like not fitting in might actually be inappropriate workplace behaviour that needs addressing. Learn more about the Support Line here.

You're not alone in this

Struggling to fit in at work whilst loving what you do is more common than you might think. The creative industry can be particularly challenging when it comes to workplace dynamics and social connections. Remember that building genuine friendships takes time, and focusing on authentic connections rather than trying to please everyone will serve you better in the long run. Be patient with yourself as you navigate these relationships, and remember that your worth isn't determined by how quickly you fit into any particular workplace culture.