Networking Without Losing Your Soul: An Authentic Approach

Self-promotion and networking can feel like selling your soul, especially when you're naturally uncertain about your abilities or uncomfortable with traditional networking events. The good news? There are genuine ways to build meaningful professional connections without becoming someone you're not.

This question was answered by Nicky Bryson – Principal and Co-founder of Sayers Brand Momentum and founder of The Trenches mentoring program – and Dr Erica Crome – Clinical Psychologist and Health Manager with expertise in mental health and wellbeing. The discussion was hosted by Andy Wright, founder of Never Not Creative.

Why Networking Feels So Wrong

Andy perfectly captures why many of us struggle: "I'm a person not a brand. It's like an unsolicited sales call somewhere between desperate and cocksure." This discomfort is completely normal, especially in creative industries where we're expected to be good at promoting ourselves.

Nicky points out that even in marketing and creative fields, "there's about 20 to 30 really good network profile people that seem to be on every trade press panel" – and they often have PR support teams behind them. What looks effortless is actually quite difficult for most people.

Start With Your Why

Before diving into networking, Nicky suggests asking yourself: "Why do you want to have a profile and network? Is it something that you want to achieve from a goal? Is it your employer who says you need to have profile to get X?" Understanding your motivation helps you work out what you actually want from networking.

Embrace Your Uncertainty

Rather than faking confidence, lean into your authentic self. As Nicky explains: "Don't become a performative wanker and don't do the I'm confident and I, you know, do keynote speeches and I know everything I'm talking about. I think the world is now hungry for that uncertain, honest perspective."

Andy's insight about uncertainty being valuable rings true: "If you don't have a degree of uncertainty, how can you be hungry?" This vulnerability actually makes you more relatable and trustworthy.

Rethink What Networking Means

Forget the image of crowded rooms full of strangers exchanging business cards. As Andy realises: "Whenever anyone says networking it's basically you assume a room full of people and you've got to go and talk to strangers. Whereas it doesn't have to be it can be 1 on 1 coffees."

Nicky suggests: "Find interesting people who you've heard about, who you'd like to talk to and ask if they want to have a coffee. And actually the best networking is word of mouth and recommendations. And usually that person will then send you on a coffee with someone else."

Add Value to Others

Erica emphasises that "networking isn't always self-promotion. Often if you amplify other people's work or share a new way of doing things or an article that you know other people are going to really enjoy, you add value to them and they want to keep engaged with you."

This approach feels much more natural than constant self-promotion. Ask questions, express genuine interest, and congratulate people on their work.

Quality Over Quantity

Both experts agree on keeping your network manageable. Erica warns: "There's nothing worse than people feeling it's been very transactional and you've used them for something and then you've moved on."

Focus on building genuine relationships with fewer people rather than collecting contacts. As Erica puts it: "Maybe it's a quality over quantity for a really good network."

Find Your Authentic Voice

Nicky suggests finding "something you're super passionate about or interested in, and that can be what you talk about." Create content or share perspectives that feel true to you, so "you won't feel like fraud but you can get noticed for something that makes sense for you."

You can also "ask people to promote you because that's also really helpful" – sometimes having others champion your work feels more comfortable than doing it yourself.

Networking doesn't have to compromise your authenticity. By focusing on genuine connections, adding value to others, and staying true to your uncertain, human self, you can build meaningful professional relationships without losing your soul. Remember, the most engaging people are often those who share their honest struggles and learnings, not those who pretend to have all the answers.

If anything in this discussion has brought up difficult feelings or you need professional support, please visit our help resources for immediate assistance.