When Your Manager Crushes Your Confidence: Reclaiming Your Worth at Work

We've all been there: you're doing brilliant work, getting recognition from colleagues, but your direct manager seems determined to squash every idea you have. They micromanage, take credit for your wins, and somehow make you question your own abilities. It's exhausting, demoralising, and frankly, it shouldn't be happening.

This question was answered by Katie Feder – Registered Psychotherapist – who specialises in emotional health and wellbeing, and Mike Tsapazi – Managing Director at The Edison Agency – who brings over 25 years of retail and leadership expertise. The discussion was hosted by Andy Wright, founder of Never Not Creative.

Your Self-Worth Isn't Up for Negotiation

Katie makes a crucial point: your manager can reject your ideas, micromanage you, and behave poorly, but they cannot actually deflate your self-worth unless you let them. "Your self-worth is an intrinsically held quality," she explains. "It is your belief about your value."

The real work here is internal. If you find yourself constantly seeking validation from someone who won't give it, that's where the healing needs to happen. Katie suggests looking deeply at what parts of you are "orientating from the outside in" rather than from your own solid sense of self.

Document Everything and Have the Conversation

Mike's advice is refreshingly practical: start with a direct conversation with your manager. Use specific examples and focus on impact rather than emotions. "I did this, I delivered this, you came back with that, this made me feel this way," he suggests.

Crucially, document everything. Take notes, record meetings (where legally possible), and build a clear picture of what's happening. As Mike points out, if your manager has better access to senior leadership than you do, you need evidence to back up your concerns.

Know When to Escalate

If the direct conversation doesn't work, it's time to go higher up the chain. Mike emphasises the importance of having an action plan: "There's no point just putting a monkey on someone else's back without actually having an action plan."

Remember, if you're in a larger organisation, psychosocial safety and codes of conduct are on your side. Poor management that affects your mental health is something companies are legally required to address.

Sometimes It's About Their Insecurities

Andy offers another perspective: sometimes managers behave this way because of their own insecurities. You might try approaching them with curiosity rather than confrontation: "Hey, is everything all right with you because I noticed that this piece of work perhaps hasn't been recognised."

This gentle approach can sometimes reveal that their behaviour stems from their own fears about job security or performance.

How NNC Circles Can Help

If you're dealing with a difficult manager, you don't have to navigate it alone. Never Not Creative's Circles programme connects creatives in small, supportive peer groups. These confidential monthly sessions provide a safe space to share experiences, gain perspective from others who understand the creative industry, and develop practical strategies for workplace challenges.

The peer support network can be invaluable when you're questioning your own worth or feeling isolated by a manager's behaviour. Learn more about NNC Circles and how to join.

When to Seek Professional Help

If your manager's behaviour is significantly affecting your mental health, wellbeing, or ability to function at work, it may be time to seek professional support. Persistent workplace stress can lead to anxiety, depression, and other serious mental health challenges that require proper care.

Never Not Creative provides resources and links to professional mental health services. Find support options and crisis helplines here.

You're Not Powerless

Dealing with a manager who undermines you is genuinely difficult, but you have more power than you might think. Whether it's strengthening your internal sense of worth, having strategic conversations, or knowing when to escalate or leave, you have options.

Remember: if the rest of the organisation holds you in high esteem and you're a high achiever, the problem isn't you. Trust that, document what's happening, and take action to protect your wellbeing and career.

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