Sharon names the game: that “family” line muddies boundaries and heaps guilt on anyone who dares protect their time. Set clear limits, write things down. Renee suggests flipping the script—if it’s truly family, speaking up should feel safe. Bottom line: you cannot control their reaction, only how you choose to show up.
It's one of the most confusing workplace dynamics – a manager who talks about being "like family" whilst simultaneously treating you as disposable equipment. This mixed messaging can leave you feeling manipulated, undervalued, and unsure how to respond professionally.
This question was answered by Sharon Draper – Psychologist with 13 years' experience helping people gain insight into their thoughts and behaviours, and Renee Hyde– Client and Agency Leadership at Howatson+Company with expertise running large integrated clients globally, with Andy Wright – Host, CEO Streamtime moderating the discussion.
When you deal with a boss that calls you family but treats you like a laptop, it's important to acknowledge how this affects you. Sharon explains: "It sounds like you know like with like we're family um it it makes you feel like you're part of something that's more that's more important it sounds like you know that you're not just an employee but then there's that like double standard."
This dynamic creates specific challenges in the workplace. As Sharon notes: "It would make you feel you know challenged you'll feel guilty about asking for things or putting boundaries in place you might be feel like you're expected to go like the extra mile with them because we're a family."
Whether intentional or not, this behaviour isn't helping the professional relationship. Sharon emphasises: "This person whether they're doing it intentionally or not they may it may be unintentional but it's not helping the relationship at all you're feeling taken advantage of."
The most important step is establishing that this is actually a professional relationship, regardless of the family rhetoric. Sharon advises: "I think what's really really important is to yeah understand that and then set boundaries i think you need to be able to say um you know you only work the hours that are expected of you um treat it as professional as possible because that's what it is even if this person says we're a family you're not though you're actually not."
You can also use their own language to advocate for better treatment. Sharon suggests: "You could use it in some ways as well and use that language and say well you know if we are a family and you value me like a family member then I do I need you to respect that I need this time to whatever it is to I need to leave on time or whatever it is that you need to do."
Protecting yourself professionally is crucial when dealing with a boss that calls you family but treats you like a laptop. Sharon recommends: "I always encourage clients to document everything as well just so you've got everything written down so it's not just hearsay just just to protect yourself you're not kind of creating evidence to go against them you're just protecting yourself."
Rather than waiting for the situation to improve, take initiative in clarifying expectations. Renee suggests: "If your manager hasn't had that conversation with you I would encourage you to have it with them proactively this is how you'll get the best out of me."
Be specific about what you need: "I really like feed you know I love feedback could I have feedback could we meet once a week i I'm feeling like I need to understand a little bit more around your expectations for me could you be clearer."
It's worth approaching the situation with some optimism initially. Renee explains: "I'm going to heir on the side of maybe the leader has um not communicated as well as they can and maybe try to encourage that and if not you've given it a go and you've given it your best shot."
Use concrete examples when discussing the impact: "The examples are really important like this makes me when you email me late at night this makes me feel this way."
If nothing changes after you've tried setting boundaries and communicating clearly, it may be time to reassess. Sharon advises: "If nothing changes once you do try and instill those boundaries and be clear about those boundaries then you can look at you know is this something that's really working for me do I need to go somewhere else where I am actually valued um as an employee."
The concept of workplace family is complicated, as Andy reflects: "Companies aren't families i was thinking oh I don't know like sometimes I like to think that we are but also you know because he says there's a level of accountability that you're going to need to have whereas you know you won't necessarily keep that always up in a in a family."
Different people have different expectations of what "family" means, which can create confusion in professional settings.
Dealing with a boss that calls you family but treats you like a laptop requires clear boundaries, professional communication, and self-protection. Remember that you deserve to work in an environment where you're genuinely valued, not just given lip service about being "family."
Start by setting boundaries, documenting interactions, and communicating your needs clearly. Give your manager a chance to improve, but don't hesitate to seek a healthier work environment if the behaviour continues. You have the right to professional respect, regardless of the language your boss uses.
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Renee is responsible for client and agency leadership at Howatson+Company. She specialises in running large, integrated clients both locally (Allianz, Samsung, CBA) and globally (Marriott International, IBM, Microsoft, Google) having worked in leading agencies in Australia and New York like M&C Saatchi, CHE Proximity and Anomaly. Renee has a unique skill set having worked in various capacities including consulting, media, customer experience and communications. She has birthed, built and grown brands and is at her best with complex challenges to solve. Renee is also a mentor at the Trenches, a qualified Mental Health first aider and has been recognised by Campaign Asia as a Woman to Watch and by B&T on their Women in Media Power List. As a mother of two young girls, Renee is a passionate advocate for diversity of all forms and is constantly tired.
For the past 13 years, Sharon has worked as a Psychologist, aiming to authentically connect with people to help them feel safe and heard. She believes, if we can gain insight into why we might think, feel and behave a certain way, we can make more sense of our current lives and then, with a growth mindset of self-compassion instead of a fixed mindset of shame, we can consciously implement positive change. Sharon has a holistic approach, she is informed by Existentialism, Neuroscience, Polyvagal Theory and Attachment Science. Sharon believes if we can accept that the behaviours we developed as children were necessary for our survival and if we can understand that all the emotions we feel provide insight into our deepest values, we can live purposeful and meaningful lives. Sharon is currently working on an online program called Taking Up Space. The program empowers women who tend to default to people pleasing behaviours. The program focuses on building insight into ones behaviours, developing emotional competence (learning how to regulate and learn from all emotions we feel) as well as building courage to integrate these insights into our everyday lives so that we can live more authentically. Sharon is also a contributor to Newspaper articles (Sydney Morning Herald), Radio (ABC) and TV (Sky News, Channel 7 Sunrise), and is the Psychologist for eHarmony Australia.
Andy Wright is happiest in a well‑worn baseball cap. As founder of Never Not Creative, he rallies a worldwide community determined to make the creative industry kinder and fairer. He also steers Streamtime as CEO and co‑chairs Mentally Healthy. Different titles, same purpose: brilliant work should never cost anyone their wellbeing. Never Not Creative was born when Andy decided it was time to stand up and make the industry a better place. What started as one person calling for change has grown into a movement that shares research, sparks honest conversations, and builds practical tools that help teams thrive. Andy’s rule of thumb: protect the humans and the great work will follow. Picture a studio cat giving you a gentle nudge to stretch, breathe, and log off before the midnight oil even thinks about burning. Off the clock, Andy is dad to three energetic kids, husband to one exceptionally patient partner, and a loyal Everton supporter (character building, he insists). Whether he is championing healthier workplaces or cheering the Toffees through a tense ninety minutes, Andy believes creative success should leave everyone standing a little taller, not lying flat from exhaustion.
