When Clients Cross the Line: Standing Up to Workplace Bullying

We've all had difficult clients, but what happens when "difficult" crosses into genuinely harmful territory? When emails arrive that gaslight, undermine, and ridicule you? When professional disagreement becomes personal attack? You're not imagining it, and you don't have to tolerate it.

This question was answered by Jess Lilley, Creative Director and Co-founder of The Open Arms, with nearly 20 years of experience in advertising and a deep understanding of toxic workplace dynamics, and Tara Hurster, psychologist and founder of The TARA Clinic, who specialises in helping successful people navigate challenging workplace relationships whilst protecting their mental health. Andy Wright served as host, founder of Never Not Creative and CEO of Streamtime.

The Two Scenarios You Might Face

There are essentially two situations where you might find yourself dealing with a bullying client, and your approach will depend on which one applies to you.

If you're working within an agency or creative business, Jess is clear: "You absolutely should have support with this and this is something that you should be able to problem solve internally and it's not your place to solve it on your own." Don't try to handle this alone. Escalate it to your manager or HR team immediately.

For freelancers or those running their own creative businesses, the situation is more complex but no less serious. You have more control over your client relationships, but also more responsibility for protecting yourself.

The Power of Walking Away

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply leave the room. Jess shared a personal experience: "I just stopped at one point and just said you know um I'm really sorry but I have to leave um the way that you're talking about this to me is making me feel really uncomfortable and I left the room and it absolutely changed the dynamic between us."

This isn't about being dramatic or unprofessional. It's about setting a clear boundary and showing that you won't accept abusive behaviour. As Jess noted, "Nothing no job is worth being treated like that by someone like that."

The Three-Part Communication Strategy

Tara outlined a structured approach to addressing bullying behaviour using what she calls the "three-part sentence." This involves using "I" statements to maintain control over the situation:

"I feel [emotion] when you [specific behaviour]. I need [specific action or boundary]."

For example: "I feel uncomfortable when you use that tone in our meetings. I need us to keep our discussions focused on the work and maintain a professional atmosphere."

The key is being specific about the behaviour and clear about what you need to change. As Tara explained: "Someone who's asleep can stop better than you, so what are we actually going to do right? What's the action part of it?"

Creative Solutions for Persistent Problems

For freelancers dealing with ongoing issues, Tara suggested an innovative approach: create a buffer. "Create a new email address so you've got like you know my email is tara@taraclinic.com and then we create mark@taraclinic.com who is now the assistant and all communication needs to go through the assistant."

This strategy works because it removes the personal element from the conflict. The client's behaviour often changes when they're dealing with a "new person" rather than continuing a personal vendetta. It also gives you psychological distance from the abuse whilst maintaining the client relationship if necessary.

Building Your Exit Strategy

If you're freelance and financially dependent on a difficult client, start planning your escape route immediately. Begin looking for replacement clients whilst you're still earning from the problematic one. This gives you the financial freedom to set firmer boundaries or walk away entirely.

Remember, clients who bully often escalate their behaviour if they sense you're trapped. Having other income sources gives you the power to say no to unacceptable treatment.

Finding Support Through NNC Circles

Dealing with workplace bullying can feel isolating, especially when you're freelance or working in a small team. Never Not Creative Circles offer peer support groups specifically for creatives facing challenges like this. These confidential, non-competitive spaces connect you with other creatives who understand the unique pressures of our industry. Meeting monthly with trained facilitators, Circles provide practical strategies and emotional support for navigating difficult workplace relationships. Learn more about NNC Circles.

When Professional Help is Needed

If client bullying is affecting your mental health, sleep, or overall wellbeing, it may be time to seek professional support. Persistent workplace abuse can have serious psychological impacts that extend far beyond the office. Don't wait until you're in crisis to reach out for help. Find professional mental health resources here.

Legal Support is Available

For situations involving serious bullying, harassment, or unpaid work, Never Not Creative's Support Line offers free initial legal consultations with specialists who understand the creative industry. This confidential service can help you understand your rights and options when dealing with abusive clients or employers. Access the Support Line here.

You Deserve Better

The creative industry can be challenging enough without tolerating abuse from clients. Whether you're dealing with gaslighting emails, public humiliation, or persistent undermining, remember that this behaviour says nothing about your worth or abilities and everything about the other person's character.

You have the right to work in an environment free from bullying and harassment. Trust your instincts, set clear boundaries, and don't be afraid to walk away from clients who don't respect your basic human dignity. There are better clients out there, and you deserve to work with them.