When you're stuck with a manager who seems to have lost all empathy, it can feel isolating and frustrating. You might find yourself thinking, "I can no longer go to them for help" – and that's a genuinely tough spot to be in, especially when you're trying to navigate your career and need support.

This situation is more common than you might think, particularly in high-pressure creative environments where stress can strip away people's capacity for understanding. The good news is that there are practical ways to work around this challenge while protecting your own wellbeing.

This question was answered by Sharon Draper – Psychologist with 13 years of experience helping people navigate workplace relationships and personal growth, and Tarra van Amerongen – Head of Design, Jira Platform at Atlassian, with extensive experience in design leadership and managing creative teams. Rebecca Jones-Bateman served as host, bringing her expertise as Head of Community and Growth at Never Not Creative and her deep understanding of creative industry challenges.

Understanding what might be happening

Before writing off your manager completely, it's worth considering what might be going on beneath the surface. As Sharon points out: "A lot of times when people are extremely stressed they don't have capacity for empathy. I know managers are leaders and they need to manage their own and regulate their own emotions, but I'm just saying it's you know it might be something to just also like I wonder what's going on for them."

This doesn't excuse poor management, but understanding the context can help you approach the situation more strategically. Your manager might be overwhelmed, dealing with their own pressures, or simply lacking the skills to provide the support you need.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket

One of the most important shifts you can make is spreading your support network wider. Sharon emphasises this point: "It's important not to rely on one person to get that empathy... I'd actually encourage that within in any aspect of your life... it's just such an unrealistic expectation."

Think about who else in your workplace or industry could provide different types of support. Maybe there's someone great at problem-solving, another person who's brilliant at just listening, and someone else who gives excellent craft feedback. Building this network takes pressure off your manager relationship and gives you multiple sources of help.

Reframe how you approach your manager

Tarra offers practical advice for when you do need to interact with your manager: "When I realize there's less empathy on the other side of the table I frame what I approach them with in terms of this is what I might need or this is what I'm going through and I need you to help me with this to help me do my role or to help you be successful."

The key is being clear about what you're asking for. Are you venting, seeking advice, or needing them to solve a specific problem? As Tarra puts it: "Sometimes I'm like I just need a vent and sometimes I'm like I need you to solve a thing." Being upfront about your needs can help even less empathetic managers respond more effectively.

Find your craft mentors and peer support

For junior creatives especially, Tarra suggests being proactive about finding the right people for different needs: "You can ask your manager for you know who is my craft Mentor who's the person I can go to to get feedback and sparring on the work... you can also find another senior person to talk about you know Team Dynamics."

Don't be afraid to seek out these relationships. Most senior creatives remember what it was like starting out and are often happy to help when asked directly.

Consider your options (but be realistic)

While it's not always possible, Sharon encourages people to think about their broader situation: "I'd encourage people to question themselves of where they are in their life and... do you need this this role or this job like how important is it to you and if you don't need it and you feel you can find another job then maybe explore your options."

Even if you can't leave immediately, knowing you have options can help you set healthier boundaries and approach the situation with more confidence.

When to seek professional help

If dealing with a manager who lacks empathy is significantly affecting your mental health, work performance, or overall wellbeing, it might be time to seek professional support. A counsellor or therapist can help you develop coping strategies, set boundaries, and work through the stress this situation creates.

For immediate support and resources, visit our Where to Get Help section, which includes crisis support lines and mental health services.

Join our peer support community

You don't have to navigate workplace challenges alone. Never Not Creative's Circles are peer support groups specifically for creatives dealing with situations just like this. As Rebecca mentioned in the discussion: "At Never Not Creative we have free support groups called circles where creatives like yourself can come together and actually vent and talk about these issues you know with managers once a month."

These confidential, non-competitive spaces let you share experiences with other creatives who understand exactly what you're going through.

Moving forward with confidence

Remember, a manager's lack of empathy says more about them than it does about you or your worth as a creative professional. While you can't change your manager, you can change how you respond to the situation.

Focus on building a diverse support network, being strategic about how you communicate your needs, and remembering that this is likely a temporary situation in your career journey. You're not stuck, even when it feels that way, and there are people and resources available to help you navigate this challenge.