We've all been there. You notice a colleague seems off, maybe they're quieter than usual, or you catch them looking overwhelmed. Your instinct is to help, but you're worried about overstepping boundaries or making things awkward. It's a delicate balance between caring and respecting someone's privacy.

The good news is there are thoughtful ways to reach out that show you care without being intrusive. It's about creating safe spaces for conversation and letting the other person control how much they share.

This question was answered by Andy Wright – Host, CEO Streamtime and founder of Never Not Creative, with extensive experience supporting wellbeing in creative workplaces; Renee Hyde – Industry Leader at Howatson+Company, a qualified Mental Health First Aider with experience running large integrated clients; and Martine Beaumont – Mental Health Expert, founder and CEO of Select Wellness with over 30 years of experience as a psychotherapist and executive coach.

Consider the person you're approaching

Different people respond to different approaches, and this matters more than you might think. As Martine explains: "Everyone we're all different and so different approaches work for different people, even different generations respond to different ways of approach."

Think about what you know about this person. Are they someone who's comfortable talking about personal stuff, or do they tend to keep things private? Someone who's more guarded might need a gentler approach than someone who's naturally open.

Make it about you, not them

One of the smartest ways to start this conversation is by taking the pressure off the other person. Instead of saying "you seem stressed" or "what's wrong?", try making it about your own observations.

Martine suggests: "Start with you rather than putting it into your this year there's some notice that just say oh god I've noticed you know lately I've just you know for some reason I've just you know had a little bit of concern and I just thought you know I need to check that out and work out if it's me or if there is actually something wrong."

This approach removes potential shame from the equation. As Martine points out: "Some people feel that if someone's noticed they're not okay that you know they experience a bit of shame around that, which is sad but that's real for them."

Try the side-by-side approach

Where you have this conversation matters as much as how you start it. Both Martine and Renee recommend getting out of the office environment.

"If there's someone who is not that comfortable, who knows a little bit defended I always recommend side by side, you know so get out of the office a walk," says Martine. "Anything that's side by side is less confrontational."

Renee adds practical advice from her Mental Health First Aid training: "The side by side is great because it's not head-on you're not looking someone in the eye, but also being able to just say like hey I recognise some like something a bit different in you which is a nice way to kind of start that conversation."

Create the right environment

Think carefully about when and where you approach someone. Renee emphasises: "Taking them out of the office not in an environment where you might be interrupted for example like if someone yeah private, ideally in an environment where there are other people around so they feel a little bit comfortable but not listening in."

And here's a tip that might save you some awkwardness: avoid formal meeting requests. As Andy notes: "Something I learned early on is like no meeting invites why did you put a meeting invite in my diary to talk I'm just I just want to have a coffee."

Give them control over the conversation

Once you've opened the door, let the other person decide how much they want to share. Renee suggests: "If they kind of open up a little bit then give a little bit more if they're not maybe just kind of go look these are the kinds of things I'm noticing it might not be anything kind of just taking the pressure off it."

Always check if it's a good time to talk. Martine recommends: "Really checking out oh you know it's a good time for us to have this conversation or do you want to can we make a time next week to catch up."

When to seek professional help

If someone opens up about serious mental health concerns, remember that you're not expected to be their therapist. While your support matters enormously, some situations require professional help. If you're concerned about someone's immediate safety or they're dealing with complex mental health issues, gently encourage them to speak with a qualified professional. You can find resources and helplines at Never Not Creative's support page.

You're doing the right thing

Reaching out to someone who might be struggling isn't nosy, it's human. The fact that you're even asking this question shows you care about doing it right. Remember, you don't need to have all the answers or fix everything. Sometimes just knowing that someone has noticed and cares can make all the difference.

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