Being a creative professional and a parent can sometimes feel like running two full-time jobs at once. One minute you're deep in a project brief, the next you're trying to get glitter out of someone’s hair or explaining fractions over dinner. If you're feeling stretched thin and weighed down by guilt – like you’re not quite enough at home or at work – you’re far from alone.

Tarra van Amerongen gets it. As Head of Design for the Jira Platform at Atlassian, she's no stranger to high-pressure roles. But she’s also a parent, a Mental Health First Aider, and someone who openly talks about the complexities of juggling both worlds. Tarra brings practical advice, honest reflection, and a deep understanding of the creative industry to this conversation – without pretending there’s a perfect answer.

The reality of competing priorities

"There's only so many hours in a day and there's only so much attention," Tarra says. That might sound obvious, but it’s something many of us forget while trying to be everywhere, for everyone, all the time. Tarra openly shares what that looks like in her life – knowing she can’t always meet every demand, no matter how much she wants to. And honestly? Just hearing someone say it out loud can feel like a relief.

Shifting the story we tell ourselves

Tarra reflects on her own mum: a woman who didn’t make it to every school excursion, but who was a powerful role model. "She was an entrepreneur with a high school education, English as a second language, and she became a powerhouse. People told her she couldn’t do things, and she found a way."

That legacy shaped Tarra’s own view of parenting: that being present doesn’t always mean being physically available every minute. It can also mean setting an example – showing your kids what it looks like to follow your curiosity, work hard, and get back up when things don’t go to plan. That’s not a failure. That’s a lesson.

Making space for honest conversations

A big part of how Tarra and her partner navigate parenting is through regular, honest communication. Not just check-ins, but thoughtful planning – especially when things change (as they always do). When their son started school, they decided her partner would step back from work to be more present during that transition. They’d saved up to make that happen, knowing they didn’t have family support nearby.

Tarra shares how they run "family retros" – simple end-of-term reflections where they ask their son how things are going, and each other how they’re holding up. And when something’s not working? They talk about it and adjust. It’s a constant work in progress, not a fixed plan.

If the guilt gets heavy

Guilt is part of the parenting package, especially when you're spinning creative plates too. But when that guilt becomes all-consuming or starts to affect your mental health, it's time to reach out.

There’s strength in asking for help. Whether that’s speaking to a mental health professional or chatting with someone who gets it, you don’t have to carry everything on your own. Our Need Help section is a good place to start – you’ll find resources and support services for when things feel too much.

Find your people

Sometimes the best thing you can hear is "me too." Never Not Creative's Circles are peer support groups built for people in the creative industry – including parents. It’s a space where you can show up as you are, leave the professional mask at the door, and have real conversations about what’s hard, what’s working, and what’s messy in between.

You don’t have to perform. You just have to show up.

You care. And that counts for a lot.

Feeling guilty is often a sign that you care deeply – about your family, your work, and doing right by both. But perfection isn’t the goal. What matters is presence, not perfection. Intentionality, not endless availability.

Your kids don’t need a superhero. They need you, as you are. And the fact that you’re asking these questions? That’s already proof that you’re doing better than you think.

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