ASKING FOR A FRIEND
Any advice on how to stay on top of everything — life, work, and expectations?
ASKING FOR A FRIEND - QUESTION
Someone asked how to stay on top of life, work, and expectations all at once, and honestly, it is a very relatable cry for help. In this Asking For A Friend session, mental health expert Emma Keen and industry leader Wez Hawes give a refreshingly honest answer: you cannot, and you were never supposed to. Emma introduces her wobble board model of capacity, explains why energy matters more than hours, and makes a compelling case for shrinking your self-imposed expectations. Wez backs it all up with the kind of candour that only comes from lived experience, including a daily reminder from his counsellor wife that impossible standards are entirely self-inflicted. If you have ever felt like everyone else has it figured out except you, this one is for you.
There is no habit tracker, diary system, or five-am routine that will ever truly get you on top of everything. That might sound bleak, but it is actually one of the most freeing things you can hear.
This question was answered by Emma Keen, mental health expert, whose practical and compassionate approach to capacity makes her exactly the kind of voice this conversation needed; Wez Hawes, industry leader, who brings honest personal experience of wrestling with impossibly high self-expectations; and Andy Wright, host of Asking For A Friend on Never Not Creative, who helped draw out the humanity in both perspectives.
The wobble board model of capacity
Emma's central idea is worth sitting with. Rather than imagining life as a series of buckets you must keep perpetually full, think of it as a wobble board. Your weight shifts. Your attention shifts. What gets the most from you this week will not be the same as what needs the most from you next week, and that is not failure. That is just life operating in seasons. The key is identifying the capacity you actually have right now, not the capacity you wish you had, and allocating accordingly.
Energy is not the same as time
Emma also makes a sharp distinction between hours and energy. Everyone gets the same number of hours in a day, but energy is far more personal. Knowing what drains you and what restores you is not a luxury consideration, it is practical intelligence. Ending each day with a loose sense of that balance helps protect what you have left for tomorrow.
Reduce your expectations, not your ambition
Both Emma and Wez land on the same honest conclusion: the impossibly high bar most people are trying to clear is one they set themselves. Wez admits his wife reminds him of this every single day. Sometimes the win really is just getting out of bed. That is not settling. That is being kind to yourself in a world that constantly tells you to do more before sunrise.
The pressure to stay on top of everything is largely noise. The quieter, braver move is to stop believing it was ever possible in the first place.
our guests
Industry Leader
Wez Hawes
OUTSIDE IN
Mental Health Expert
Emma Keen
Host
